Day 89 "I'm Trying To Remain In Good Spirits"

Today I woke up and was a pretty good mood all day for the most part.  The new dosage of Seroquel still keeps me pretty sedated but my vision is much better.  I'm able to drive the car and see clearly.  I just hope it stays this way.  Anything else will be unacceptable.  The only problems I've encountered today have been the women in my family that try and run my life.  I don't ask anything of anyone or make anyone feel guilty the way these women do.  There's basically three of them and I'm not going to mention any names out of respect.  Oh, did I say respect?  It sure would be nice if they had some for me but instead it's just the usual strings attached.

I've been thinking a lot about being able to get a job the last two days since my last therapy session.  I can't wait to get out of this house everyday and earn my own money.  I'm sure I won't get a good job at first but if I could find something that could eventually turn into something better I 'll be happy.  I just can't stop dreaming about being able to buy my own car and have my own place to live.  My entire life I've dreamed of being on my own and able to afford a nice car, a nice place to live, and the ability to travel once in a while.  I just have to remain hopeful and optimistic as hard as that may seem some days.

Tonight my Mom wanted to eat out as usual because that's what makes her happy.  I of course didn't want to because I feel that I need to get healthier.  I currently am on blood pressure pills, thyroid pills, and I may end up on medication for diabetes.  The verdict is still out on me being diabetic but I know if I keep eating out and not following a diet I'm going to end up being diabetic for sure.  Anyway, we ate out tonight at Wendy's and I ate enough food for two people.  It's been over two hours and I'm still full.  I'm supposed to take my Seroquel on an empty stomach and I still feel so full that I can't take it yet.  Looks like another late night of being up for me!