Day 72 "Trying To Regain Some Normalcy"

If you've been following along you know that the last few days have been pretty horrible for my family as well as myself.  I've done a good job of being there for everyone but when I'm alone I've binged, purged, had thoughts of death, all at the same time which is a mixed state.  Yesterday I started on a higher dose of Seroquel which is supposed to help me sleep better, relax, and mostly work to reduce reduce my depression.  Well, today has been a little better for me.  I'm still depressed about myself and everything that happened this weekend but I seem to be in more control today which makes me feel more content.

I'm having to pick up a lot of the slack at home since my Mom is no position to do anything besides sit in a chair which is challenging but I'm managing.  I've had to make myself a daily schedule so that I don't forget to do something or do the wrong thing.  Tonight I had to do the grocery shopping and if I wouldn't have made a list it would have taken me six hours and I would have bought all the wrong things.  However, it went pretty smooth and I remained in a pretty good mood.  Tomorrow I have to get softener salt for my Mom's water softener and I have to take her to see her doctor in the afternoon.  As long as I keep myself  a schedule I think everything will work out fine. 

Tomorrow, I'm going to try and work in the yard after we get back from Mom's doctor appointment.  I need to mow and there are a ton of weeds that need to be pulled.  I think the yard work will do me good and help me to get my mind back on a positive track.  I also will be eating better following my diet on SparkPeople.  I didn't buy any junk food at the grocery store tonight and have no money to go and buy any so diet it is.  Once I get my diet back on track I 'm going to start getting in the habit of exercising.  I like to bike but I've thought about walking and maybe even running.  Hmmm, maybe a combination of the three would help me stick to exercising better.   I just know that I would prefer not to be on blood pressure medication and diet and exercise is the way to accomplish that.