Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Friday, August 9, 2013

Day 75 "Hypomania All Day Today"

Today has been a hypomanic day for me.  Due to my Mom being pretty much helpless I haven’t been sleeping very well.  I have been sleeping with an eye and ear open in case something bad would happen.  I’ve noticed that the decrease in sleep is causing me to be a little manic.  There just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to get everything done.  Today I mowed the grass, cleaned two bathrooms, cleaned the kitchen, swept the floors, and did two loads of laundry.  That was all for my Mom and I have yet to do my laundry.  Thank goodness I can do all mine in one load.  Anyway, I have been  hypomanic today and I would say that lack of sleep is the reason for it.  On average I sleep ten hours a night and when I get below the eight hour mark I tend to become hypomanic or have a mixed state.

Had I not had to do all those things for my Mom today the hypomania might have not been so good.  When I’m hypomanic I need to do something which results in some sort of release.  If I have a plan to do a bunch of activities, yes I may be hypomanic but I get a bunch of things done or get to do a bunch of activities.  The release for me is that I feel great that I got so much accomplished.

Had I nothing to do today and only slept six hours that would be a red flag for me that I may be in for some hypersexual behavior.  Before I was medicated I would most likely look at porn on the computer and place personals on Craigslist looking for sex.  This activity would take place whenever I had less sleep.  I would spend hours placing ads and waiting for replies.  There were times when I would look for sex up to ten hours.  The release for me was when I would meet someone.  However, a lot of times I would spend all night looking and come up with nothing which would make me very angry.
There are a lot of times when I've have mixed states.  I tend to be down on myself, depressed, have no hope for my future, isolate myself, and feel a lot of anger.  With that said I can be hypomanic, hypersexual, and depressed all at the same time which makes it ten times worse when I can’t get that release I need.  I end up getting a little psychotic sometimes.

Since starting Lithium 900mg per day the severe mania I was having pretty much stopped.  I have had a few instances of being hypersexual since starting Lithium but I have been able to stay away from Internet porn and haven’t wanted to place ads looking for sex.  However, on Lithium alone I became deeply depressed.  I was then prescribed with Seroquel 300mg XR and that started helping me feel less depressed.  After about a month my dose was raised to 2 300mg XR tablets and its making me feel even less depressed. 
In therapy we have been talking about what triggers certain behaviors I do.  For the most part I can tell you what the main triggers are that cause me to do certain things but I want to dig a little and find those secondary triggers.  Mania in its minor forms includes heightened feelings of well-being, increased alertness, drive, inflated self-esteem, and extensive sociability.  In addition to a general elevation of mood, instability is typical.  Irritability may easily be evoked and other mood states such as anxiety or sadness, fleetingly but intensely expressed, may become apparent.  In mixed states pronounced symptoms of both depression and mania either coexist or alternate during different periods of the day.  As mania deepens over activity and over talkativeness become more obvious.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Day 66 "I'm Angry Today"

So I went to the doctor this week and was very happy because I thought my life was moving in a positive direction.  My blood pressure has been a little elevated and the doctor decided to put me on blood pressure medicine to keep it down.  I told the doctor as well as gave him a list of all medications I takefor bipolar disorder and figured he would understand what that means. 

Well he decided that in addition to my daily dose of 900mg Lithium I should also take 10mg Lisonopril (Nestril) because I have elevated blood pressure.  It’s been two days since I started this ritual but every morning when I take the blood pressure medication I get really tired and feel as if I need a nap.  I can be wide awake and all of a sudden I just need to lay down.  Well I did a little bit of research on this matter and it turns out that Lisonopril can seriously cause Lithium levels to rise to toxic levels.

According to to WebMD a serious interaction may occur and cause harmful effects.  Your blood pressure medicine makes your kidneys remove extra sodium from your blood.  This decreases the amount of lithium your kidneys remove.  As a result, your blood levels of Lithium may increase and cause toxic effects.

If you experience drowsiness, tiredness, increased thirst, increased urination, weight gain, tremors, changes in your heart rate, or confusion, contact your doctor.  It may be necessary to monitor the Lithium levels in your blood more often.  Your doctor may need to adjust the dose of your medicine or change you to a different medicine for high blood pressure.  Do not start, stop, or change the dosage of any medicine before checking with your doctor first.

I feel very let down and am obviously upset.  I don’t want to end up in the hospital with Lithium toxicity and just want to be ok.  I understand that it’s a lot of work for all these doctors and nurses to be able to keep up with everything but I do feel that doctors should have a basic understanding of how psych drugs work.  I feel there’s no excuse that I should have to chase my doctor down tomorrow and Friday to try to get something other than Lisonopril or get my dosage of Lithium reduced.  I guess it's a god thing I take a drug for anxiety because I have anxiety!!

My next question is what happens if they want to reduce my Lithium?  That’s the drug I use to control my mania and if I do that am I setting myself up for manic episode.  I just don’t know what to do and wish I had someone who could just make the right decision for me.  Oh well, I don’t think that’s going to happen.  I guess we’ll just have to see how this one plays out.  I JUST NEED TO GET MY DIET UNDER CONTROL SO I DON’T NEED BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICATION.

Other than really being down this evening because of this medication thing, my mood has been pretty good all day.  It was best this afternoon because this morning I really just wanted to sleep and not be bothered.  I’m going to try and keep positive  about this because negativity is only going to make it worse.

“Thanksgiving 2018”

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