Today my mood is somewhat depressed but for the first time in a long time I feel steady. I'm not jumping back and forth from one extreme to another. Today I've been able to have clear and concise thoughts. Hopefully I will have many more days like today. My only hope is that on those days the clear and concise thoughts I'm having are more pleasant.
On this day in 1971 my Grandpa hung himself in his family home. I wasn't born for another year but his death has touched everyone in my family. His children all have trust issues because of his lack of trust and they all detach themselves from the outside world. This has been passed down to all their children. It seems like the cycle is never going to end which is very depressing
My Grandfather was an alcoholic and abusive to his entire family. He would drink and all hell would break out. He used to beat both my Grandmother and all his children. Today he would have been arrested and jailed. Some of the cruel acts he submitted his immediate family to are hard to believe. He once went after my Grandma with an axe and beat her with it before chopping all the furniture up. Another time he beat his six year old son, stripped all his clothes, and then kicked him out of the house in to the cold winter night.
I'm not trying to bash him or judge him for what he did. I just know that he was an alcoholic and when he was drunk he was a loud, abusive, obnoxious person. I don't know for sure but I really think he was Bipolar. I've brought my theory up before but nobody wants to talk about it. I've also had a hard time with my family accepting my Bipolar Disorder and thought that maybe associating it with my Grandfather possibly having it scares them.
At this point, I've made a lot of progress and am using what I know about my Grandpa to better myself. I feel that every situation can offer information which we can use to educate ourselves. While my Grandfather's death was a tragedy to my entire family I look at his death as a lesson on how not to commit suicide. Rest in peace Grandpa!
On this day in 1971 my Grandpa hung himself in his family home. I wasn't born for another year but his death has touched everyone in my family. His children all have trust issues because of his lack of trust and they all detach themselves from the outside world. This has been passed down to all their children. It seems like the cycle is never going to end which is very depressing
My Grandfather was an alcoholic and abusive to his entire family. He would drink and all hell would break out. He used to beat both my Grandmother and all his children. Today he would have been arrested and jailed. Some of the cruel acts he submitted his immediate family to are hard to believe. He once went after my Grandma with an axe and beat her with it before chopping all the furniture up. Another time he beat his six year old son, stripped all his clothes, and then kicked him out of the house in to the cold winter night.
I'm not trying to bash him or judge him for what he did. I just know that he was an alcoholic and when he was drunk he was a loud, abusive, obnoxious person. I don't know for sure but I really think he was Bipolar. I've brought my theory up before but nobody wants to talk about it. I've also had a hard time with my family accepting my Bipolar Disorder and thought that maybe associating it with my Grandfather possibly having it scares them.
At this point, I've made a lot of progress and am using what I know about my Grandpa to better myself. I feel that every situation can offer information which we can use to educate ourselves. While my Grandfather's death was a tragedy to my entire family I look at his death as a lesson on how not to commit suicide. Rest in peace Grandpa!
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