Had I not had to do all those things for my Mom today the hypomania might have not been so good. When I’m hypomanic I need to do something which results in some sort of release. If I have a plan to do a bunch of activities, yes I may be hypomanic but I get a bunch of things done or get to do a bunch of activities. The release for me is that I feel great that I got so much accomplished.
Had I nothing to do today and only slept six hours that would
be a red flag for me that I may be in for some hypersexual behavior. Before I was medicated I would most likely
look at porn on the computer and place personals on Craigslist looking for sex. This activity would take place whenever I had
less sleep. I would spend hours placing
ads and waiting for replies. There were
times when I would look for sex up to ten hours. The release for me was when I would meet
someone. However, a lot of times I would
spend all night looking and come up with nothing which would make me very angry.
There are a lot of times when I've have mixed states. I tend to be down on myself, depressed, have
no hope for my future, isolate myself, and feel a lot of anger. With that said I can be hypomanic,
hypersexual, and depressed all at the same time which makes it ten times worse
when I can’t get that release I need. I
end up getting a little psychotic sometimes.
Since starting Lithium 900mg per day the severe mania I was
having pretty much stopped. I have had a
few instances of being hypersexual since starting Lithium but I have been able
to stay away from Internet porn and haven’t wanted to place ads looking for sex. However, on Lithium alone I became deeply
depressed. I was then prescribed with
Seroquel 300mg XR and that started helping me feel less depressed. After about a month my dose was raised to 2
300mg XR tablets and its making me feel even less depressed.
In therapy we have been talking about what triggers certain
behaviors I do. For the most part I can
tell you what the main triggers are that cause me to do certain things but I
want to dig a little and find those secondary triggers. Mania
in its minor forms includes heightened feelings of well-being, increased
alertness, drive, inflated self-esteem, and extensive sociability. In addition
to a general elevation of mood, instability is typical. Irritability may easily
be evoked and other mood states such as anxiety or sadness, fleetingly but
intensely expressed, may become apparent.
In mixed states pronounced symptoms of both depression and mania
either coexist or alternate during different periods of the day. As mania
deepens over activity and over talkativeness become more obvious.
