Day 88 "Today Had It's Up's And Downs"

Overall today was a pretty good day with my Bipolar Disorder.  I went in many directions today, remained calm, and made no mistakes.  First off, I had to take my sister to her doctors appointment, drop her off, go get her son from school, and then go back and get her from her appointment.  The timing was remarkably good.  She was just getting done with her appointment when I got back to the doctor's office.  She decided that her and the kids would come back home with me to spend a little time with Mom.  I then had to take my my Mom's prescription's to the pharmacy and pick them up when they were finished.  While her prescriptions were being filled I had the oil in the car changed and picked up five bags of salt for the water softener.  After I got home I put all the salt in the softener and then went and picked up dinner for everyone.  After we ate I made a grocery list, took my sister and her kids back home, and then went and did the grocery shopping.  I ran today for almost nine hours and did alright.  I can't promise that my mood will always be like that but today it was OK.

There was only one thing that disturbed me today.  When I got back to the house with my sister and her kids I pulled the car in the garage and when my sister went to let herself in she could hear my Mom screaming out.  When we went in the house it took a few minutes to get my Mom's attention and wake her up.  The same thing has happened a number of times since the accident.  Yesterday when I got home from picking up my nephew from school my Mom was in a chair and talking about the accident and moving her hands around.  She kept talking about getting the babies out of the car.  I feel horrible for all of them but I'm beginning to think that they could use some counseling to get through this.  My little nephew doesn't want to talk about it at all and cried a little about it when I was taking them home tonight.  My little niece that just turned three just keeps talking about the vehicle being upside down.  It breaks my heart that their all having such a hard time.

I have my own stress and anxiety related to their crash as well.  The day that it happened I was sleeping and my cousin was at the house banging on my wall so that I would wake up.  When I came face to face with her she told me that I should sit down.  All I could think of was that my Mom had died.  I thank God she's alive as well as my sister and her family.  I'm not having any bad dreams or nightmares and have been sleeping well.  However, I keep having moments where I envision what life would be like if they would have all died.  In any event I'm going to look into some sort of counseling they could all go to together.  I think it would help them all cope with this a lot better.