Day 122 "More Hypomania Plus Anger Today"

Last night a slept for a couple of hours sitting in the computer chair and have been tired all day but fired up to clean and organize.  I haven't been able to stop and have a million ideas racing through my head.  I like the rush I've been having but know that some of the hypomania I've been experiencing is not good and that is the hypersexual behavior I've been dealing with the last few days.  I have felt so impulsive and been looking for encounters on the Internet and looking at a lot of porn.  I know that all of this is part of my bipolar and I'm medicated but I just can't stop.  I talked with my therapist about this today and she told me to get a hold of my nurse practitioner's nurse tomorrow and let her know whats going on in the hopes that my Lithium dose can be raised.  I had my Lithium levels checked this week and the results show that I'm at the low end of therapeutic right now.  I just know that I'm afraid if I don't do something now I'm going to become even more manic.

I also got the results of my A1C test today and my number was 9.2 down from 10.4 that was taken at the beginning of August.  My nurse practitioner had them check my A1C number because I take Abilify and it has the potential to cause or make diabetes worse.  I'm scheduled to get an A1C test done again on October 23rd with my regular doctor and I'm hoping I can get it down further.  I ordered a Blood Glucose Monitor and supplies all from Walmart because they have the supplies pretty cheap.  My Mom has insurance and still pays more than what I paid for less.  I have enough supplies to last me a year if I do a test every morning.  My doctor never said anything about me testing my blood but I've been advised by a number of RN's that it would be a good idea.  

So now I have to work on my diet and eating vegetables.  Eating vegetables has always been hard for me.  I have a hard time getting them down.  My cousin knows that I drink low sodium vegetable juice and suggested I use a blender or food processor and mix some other vegetable in with the vegetable juice to get a good variety.  I think that's a great idea and I'm going to be trying it.  She also suggested freezing fruit and using the food processor or blender to make make smoothies which I'm also going to try.  At this point I'll take my fruits and vegetables any way I can get them.  In addition to eating healthier and checking my sugar I ordered a nice pair of walking shoes because I'm going to start walking in the evenings.  I'm hopeful and optimistic that doing all this will help me lose some weight and drop my A1C number even farther.

Now for the anger I had today.  First off I wa very critical of everyone on the road today and said a lot of things that were horrible about other people.  I was glad that nobody was in the car  with me because they would have laughed and made me even more angry.  It makes me angry because I know it's the bipolar and when it strikes me I just can't stop.  I function best when I'm alone and not around other people.  Tonight when I first started using my Blood Glucose Monitor it wasn't working right so I took it back to Walmart thinking I could exchange and here they won't take anything back that has to do with blood.  Well, there was no sign stating that by the product and when they told me their policy I got loud, said a bunch of bad things to the girl in Customer Service, and shoved the box of the meter I was going to exchange  at her.  I basically exploded and could tell that it was the bipolar causing me to act out in this manner.