Day 94 "Those Who Have Money And Insurance Always Come First"

Today has been a low day for me again.  I don't feel well and I have no hope that I'm ever going to get better.  I went to the doctor this morning expecting to get the results of my blood work that was done in the end of July.  Well,  I got there and found out that my appointment had been cancelled and moved to Sept 11th.  I made note of it and asked if I could get a copy of my blood work results so that I could take them with me to my therapy session in the afternoon.

Well, I got my blood work in an envelope from the receptionist and I left.  When I got out to the car I opened them and started looking at the numbers.  I was shocked to see that my A1C number was 10.4%.  The A1C number measures your average blood glucose at all times during the previous 2-3 months.  Checking your blood with a meter only gives you a picture of what it is at that moment.  Average A1C numbers are anything between 4-6%.  Keeping your A1C number within the guidelines greatly reduces eye, heart, and kidney problems.

As I sat there in the car I got really upset and just cried.  It's like everything is happening all at once with me.  I then got angry at my doctor.  Why didn't he or his nurse let me know that my A1C numbers were high?  Why didn't someone at the doctor's office counsel me this morning?  I would have been happy to wait.  It all comes down to the fact that I have no insurance and no money.  There's not really anything in it for my doctor.  Years ago when I had insurance I would go get my blood drawn and then get the results the following week.  I've talked to some other people that currently have insurance and it still works that way.  It's a shame that things have to be like this.  I'm not asking for a handout I just wish I could get the same level of customer service.

I went to my therapy session this afternoon and my therapist got the nurse there to go over my lab work with me.  She told me that everything is reversible but that I'm definitely diabetic according to the A1C number.  She told me to stay away from sweets and eat more vegetables.  I don't have an appointment for two weeks so I'm going to look at the American Diabetes Association website and see if they have any meal plans.

Day 64 "I Knew This Day Would Finally Show Up"

There's a time in your life when nothing matters. You can do what you want, act like you want, and say what you want. I was like this for along time because of my bipolar. I just didn't really worry about my health and just did what I did. Well, today that ended for me and I had a wake up call. I saw the doctor and he put me on blood pressure medicine, thyroid medicine, and he's thinking about medicine for diabetes because my numbers were a little elevated there as well. They also took blood from me today which took five different tries and did an EKG which was ok.  

I'm not surprised that any of this happened today because I knew I wasn't in the best of health. The thing that bothered me is that I kept thinking back thirty years ago when my Dad went through the same things I did. I can remember him being scared for many months and feeling depressed. After my Dad got all the tests and was put on the medication he really didn't change anything in his life. He didn't exercise and didn't change his eating habits.

Well, this is where I'm going to be different. I have this need to live and be healthy and somehow I'm going to figure it all out. There is this free website called SparkPeople.com which is the largest online diet and healthy living community with over 12 million registered members. Unlike Weight Watchers where you are budgeted so many points a day that you can spend freely. SparkPeople teaches you how to eat by presenting you with the nutrients you need to survive. I did Weight Watcher's for a while and I was eating a ton of processed food. When I switched to SparkPeople.com I started looking at the different nutrients I was inhaling and started to change. I haven't been on the site much since I started my treatment for bipolar I'm going to change that and get back with it especially since it's free and has much the same information as Weight Watchers.

Today my bipolar started out in the normal range because I was excited about going to the doctor but as the visit approached I became a little more depressed and just didn't want to go. I wanted to hide from the truth but that's what I always seem to do so I just decided to go with it and it happened. I have to take a few more pills now but maybe I can lose some more weight and not have to take those pills. The way I see it, the choice is mine!