Last night I slept pretty good but was up and down a lot. I had to be up early this morning and was able to get up but I've been very tired all day. I took my uncle to his doctor's appointment this morning with his regular doctor and my OCD kicked in because I was very organized and asked lots of questions. I felt very much like I was on my A game. Then I had a period this afternoon and evening where I had a lot of rude outbursts about different people. I said a lot of horrible things. My anxiety hasn't been too bad today but I've also felt depressed and have cried numerous times today. I feel OK for the most part but I'm not sure whether I'm coming or going. Finally, the most annoying part of today and actually the last week is that I'm drooling a lot which I don't know if it may have something to do with one of my medictions or is a side effect of the Bell's Palsy I developed about two months ago. I've read that it can take along time to fully recover from it.
I have a very busy schedule this week and am a little stressed about that. I have to pick my nephew up from school two days. On one day I have an appointment with my doctor and then a therapy session across town. I'm also supposed to go to a group counseling session this week that is focusing on coping skills. I also may be taking my uncle to meet with his initial visit with the cancer doctor. Oh, I forgot to mention that I have an appointment with a lawyer on Saturday morning to work on my appeal for disability. When I don't have a set schedule my anxiety goes into overdrive and it makes me irritable. I think that may be part of the reason I've been having rude outbursts and feeling depressed but who knows for sure.
There have been some times in the last two weeks I haven't taken my Seroquel due to the way it sedates me and slows me down. Maybe that's another reason I'm having such a tough week. I'm pretty sure I have everything in order so far this week but I'm definitely feeling more on the depressive side of the bipolar scale with occasional hypomania. I'm looking forward to seeing my therapist on Wednesday to talk about things. For a while I felt like I was making a lot of progress and maybe I still am but I'm just having a rough time right now.
I’m a 46 year old man who’s been dealing with Bipolar my entire life. It wasn’t until 2013 that I was diagnosed and this blog is my story. As you’ll see there’s been many lapses in my posting but I’m going to try and get back with it. I’ve had a lot of trouble during my lapses but I continue to remain optimistic about my bipolar hence the title Optimistic Bipolar.
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