Day 103 "A Stable Day For Me"

I slept very good last night and was able to get up this morning without any problems.  Again, this is because I didn't take my Seroquel last night.  I had to be able to drive the car this afternoon and would have never been able to do it safely had I taken the Seroquel.  For me to take the Seroquel and be alert enough to operate a vehicle I would have had to take it at four in the afternoon yesterday before dinner and I've been told to take it two hours after I eat dinner.  It's just not working right for me.

I've been dwelling a lot about it lately and I hope I'm not boring anybody.  I'm one of these people that has to talk myself into making decisions and deciding I don't want to take Seroquel anymore hasn't been an easy decision at all.  It's always sedated me and made me sleep regardless of the dosage but it does help my depression.  I just didn't realize how much driving I was going to be doing and I would rather be a little depressed and alert than not depressed and really foggy.

I see my therapist this week and am going to talk to her about it.  I'm also going to talk to my nurse practitioner's nurse if she's in.  I still have two weeks before I see my nurse practitioner and I was told she's going to be on vacation.  I'm not feeling depressed or manic right now but I feel that if I keep taking the Seroquel intermittently like I have there's going to be a problem.  I started reading about medications online to educate myself and there's so many different options available that it's just very overwhelming.  I just need to be assured that whatever I'm prescribed has less side effects than the Seroquel. 

Today, I spent the afternoon looking for lawyers to help me with my disability case.  I was denied at the end of July and only have three weeks left to appeal their decision.  The first lawyer's office I called asked me what I was diagnosed with and I told the lady bipolar1.  She told me she never heard of that before.  I felt that they were probably the wrong people to represent me.  I called another firm and was interviewed over the phone for about fifteen minutes and they accepted me as a client and I have a meeting with them next Saturday.  I've had mixed emotions about whether I should appeal or not and I just decided that I should give it a try so that I can have some free time to work on myself and get stable.  Besides bipolar1, I have OCD, bulimia, recently diagnosed diabetes, as well as high blood pressure.  I plan on beating it all but if I was awarded disability it would allow me to be able to have an income I could use to pay my own way with while I'm fixing myself.