Since I've last written I started my new diabetic diet. It's been very hard for me to stick to it. I did a lot of research and found the information I need to know and I everyone keeps giving me diet tips and tells me I should be doing something different. It's very frustrating for me because I feel like nobody has any confidence in me and this is the way its been my entire life it seems. I just want to start out slow and easy and I feel such a sense of brain overload. It makes me just want to not do it at all. However, I'm sure I'm not the first person to go through something like this and succeed. I just need to keep telling myself I can do this and allow myself to have slip ups.
The last few days my mood has been very low which I think has to do with me starting this new diet. I have felt so much pressure that I have binged eat on junk food twice already. I have also just felt like all I want to do is sleep. I have been sleeping an average of 15 hours a day. I have just wanted to block everything out and be by myself. I did have a hypomanic moment tonight when I road with my cousin to get a couple movies. I started cussing at other drivers and saying the meanest things I could think of. Again, when this happens everybody thinks it's funny but it just makes me more angry because I can't stop.
I’m a 46 year old man who’s been dealing with Bipolar my entire life. It wasn’t until 2013 that I was diagnosed and this blog is my story. As you’ll see there’s been many lapses in my posting but I’m going to try and get back with it. I’ve had a lot of trouble during my lapses but I continue to remain optimistic about my bipolar hence the title Optimistic Bipolar.
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