There are so many things I don't like about being bipolar. The thing that bothers me most is that I never know which way I'm going to swing in a day. I could have a completely normal day with no ups or downs but that seems not to happen much for me. I'm on medication and I feel it's working but my nine times out of ten my days seem to yo yo. I'm either hypomanic or I'm depressed. Some days I go back and forth from being hypomanic to being depressed.
Right now I've been in a mostly depressed mood. I want to sleep all the time and I don't want to socialize with anyone. I've been doing a lot of stressing out about my future and where I may be down the road five years. I just have this feeling that nothing is going to get better and it has me nuts. However, I've also had a little bit of hypomania mixed in here and there with this. When hypomania sets in I'm more energetic, talk more, and want to go go go. I would have to say that all of this started around the start to the holidays. As a result I'm going to let it ride out for a few more weeks and see how it turns out for me.
My nurse practitioner left and right now I have no prescriber. There's a nurse on staff that I'm supposed to get a hold of if I have some sort of problem and she will then get a hold of someone to see if they can do something for me. I just don't want my medications changed by someone who really doesn't know me so I think it's better to be cautious.
I’m a 46 year old man who’s been dealing with Bipolar my entire life. It wasn’t until 2013 that I was diagnosed and this blog is my story. As you’ll see there’s been many lapses in my posting but I’m going to try and get back with it. I’ve had a lot of trouble during my lapses but I continue to remain optimistic about my bipolar hence the title Optimistic Bipolar.
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