I slept last night a little bit. It wasn't real good sleep and it was with the lights on but I did it. I can't figure out for the life of me why I have this thing with sleeping with the lights on. I'm going to research it and get back to you on it. My mood today was low but I was able to cope. I didn't have the need to run in the bedroom and go to sleep. I just have a lot on my plate and know that I'm the only one that can change any of it. The problem with that is that I don't know if I can handle it all. I don't know if I have the drive to do what it takes to change. One part of me is ready to go and the other part of me just stands there like a deer staring in to headlights.
So tomorrow is the day I decided I was going to start changing my life. By change I mean lose weight and get my sugar under control. It doesn't sound like that big of a deal but I don't have anybody helping me with this. I haven't seen a dietition because I can't afford one and I really don't have any exercise equipment. I'm going to have to pound the pavement walking and I'm not real fond of having to do that in the middle of winter. I could go to the park but I don't have a car of my own right now so that's out of the question. In any event, tomorrow is the day I decided I was going to change some things in my life and I have to try the best I can because I have no other options and I just need to do this for myself.
I’m a 46 year old man who’s been dealing with Bipolar my entire life. It wasn’t until 2013 that I was diagnosed and this blog is my story. As you’ll see there’s been many lapses in my posting but I’m going to try and get back with it. I’ve had a lot of trouble during my lapses but I continue to remain optimistic about my bipolar hence the title Optimistic Bipolar.
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