Day 170 "Need Some Time Off"

I didn't make a post yesterday.  I was so tired after spending the entire day at the hospital again that when I got home I hit the pillow and was out like a light.  My body was just spent and I let it do what it wanted.

Last night I slept fairly good and only woke up twice and that was to use the bathroom.  I woke up to the most amazing looking snowfall that occurred overnight.  There is still a lot of leaves on the ground and the wet snow looked really pretty up against all the colors still in the trees.  For a minute I was able to forget about all the troubles I've been having and focus on the beauty right in front of my eyes.

My mood today has been both up and down which seems to be pretty regular for me.  I'm upset and a little overwhelmed that I have so much on my plate.  I'm not able to take care of my needs and I'm afraid it's going to catch up with me in a bad way which is the last thing I want to happen.  I need some time to myself for a while and would so much like to just get away for a week.  I just need some time where I don't  have to answer to anyone and can just relax.

I've been compliant with all my medications but have one I'm having some trouble with.  I take 60mg of Latuda and it's causing me some vision trouble.  It makes my vision a little blurry and sometimes It's worse than other times.  The problem with that is I drive a lot and I'm afraid of getting in an accident.  I was going to just stop taking it but I thought I would stick it out a month.  I feel like none of the anti-psychotics are working and that maybe I should just suck it up without them.  It's been almost six months now and I still can't get one to work.  I'm just going to try and remain optimistic that something will eventually work.