Last night I went to bed really late and didn’t sleep well at all. I kept watching the clock and finally fell asleep around 5 this morning. Around 8 this morning I woke up again with a charlie horse in my left calf. It took me five minutes to get out of bed and stretch the cramp out. It has been almost eight hours since then and I can still feel it.
My mood today has been up and down and I am kind of upset about it. I’ve been at the hospital everyday at least eight hours since my uncle was admitted and my aunt just informed me that she wants to be up here tomorrow at 8 in the morning and will want to stay till visiting hours are over at 8 pm. I don’t mind helping my family out at all but I was kind of looking forward to a day off. My medications make me really tired and I’ve been going everyday. Then to boot on Tuesday I have to start doing my regular weekly running for my sister in addition to running my aunt around.
I just need a break from everything and everyone for a few days. It would be nice to be able to shut the cell phone off and enjoy a cup of coffee without the worries that I might be missing something. It would be nice to spend some time with a friend going to a flea market or shopping. I’m just so depressed of not having a life and dealing with everyone else’s problems. I want some time to myself and people to pamper me a little bit.
I’m a 46 year old man who’s been dealing with Bipolar my entire life. It wasn’t until 2013 that I was diagnosed and this blog is my story. As you’ll see there’s been many lapses in my posting but I’m going to try and get back with it. I’ve had a lot of trouble during my lapses but I continue to remain optimistic about my bipolar hence the title Optimistic Bipolar.
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