Day 253 "Am I Losing My Mind?"

Today my mood has been really low.  I started a diet a little over two weeks ago and I'll do good for a few days and then I have a day where I binge eat.  I've even purged a couple of times in the last few weeks.  I live with my Mom and she buys goodies for my niece and nephew that I can't stay away from.  Then my sister is always bringing fast food to the house and I love that as well.  Additionally my cousin wants to go out to eat about once a week and it's never anything low fat.  Everybody looks at me like I'm out in left field when I say that I'm on a diet and need to follow it one hundred percent.  I hear so many times a month from my Mom, sister, and cousin what I should be doing.  They don't have a whole lot of respect for the fact that I found a diabetic diet on my own and since doing my sugar numbers have come down significantly.

In addition to trying to diet, lose some weight, and get my sugar numbers under control I'm hoping that my new psychiatrist is able to get my medications under control.  The last few weeks in addition to having a lot of anxiety and feelings of panic I've been seeing things.  Last night I saw some sort of brown colored creature in my Mom's dining room.  I've live here for forty one years and we've never had a brown animal.  The creepy thing is that I didn't just see it out of the corner of my eye, it was there.  There have been a few other incidents where I have seen things out of the corner of my eye then there gone.  In addition to being depressed, angry, and having feelings of panic I have felt like I'm being watched by something.  It's probably my imagination but I can't shake the feeling.  I'm going to tell the psychiatrist this when I see him and hope he doesn't think I'm nuts.