2010 Year Review Age 38

 

Click the mood chart to enlarge.

2010

January

• Job Promotion, Pizza Shop, Part Time Pizza/Chicken Cook to Part Time Shift Manager.

February

• Job Ended, Pizza Shop, Quit/No Notice/Bulimia related.

March

• Job Started Again, Pizza Shop,Part Time Salad Prep/Chicken Cook.

May

• Job Promotion, Pizza Shop, Part Time Salad Prep/Chicken Cook to Shift Manager.

November 2010 – December 2011

• Started calling off work weekly.  I even faked car troubles so that I could sleep.
• I smoked marijuana during this period but maybe only a dozen or two times when I had a lot of anxiety or I was going to binge and purge.
• My appetite was mostly low but I had a few instances where I wanted to eat everything that resulted in my purging.
• I felt sick all the time.
• I lost interest in everything that I enjoyed doing (bike riding, hiking, photography, genealogy).
• I wanted to sleep all the time and would sometimes sleep for 14 to 16 hours at a time.
• I always felt stressed and was very anxious.
• I had accelerated speech a lot and could talk for hours when I was manic and when my mood was low my speech was very labored.
• I had no hope for my future.
• I thought about death all the time and how mine might play out. 
• I never wanted to kill myself but thought that I was going to drop dead.
• I had a hard time bathing, brushing my teeth, and shaving on a regular basis.
• I messed up scheduling at work multiple times as well as the store’s weekly ordering and I eventually lost both responsibilities to someone else.
• I was on edge all the time and would snap at a moment’s notice both at home and at work.
• I was very hypersexual during this time. 
• I was looking at porn on my computer several times per day. 
• I also was very interested in hooking up with only guys after i quit my job and would post ads on craigslist looking for discreet hookups. 
• I would usually end up posting an ad and then staying up all night checking my email over and over ready to leave the house at a moment’s notice which were also the times I would actually be inclined to shower and shave.  
• Something would takes over in my mind and I would just want what I want and if I didn’t get it I would crash into a depressive angry state until my next hi period and do it all over again. 
• All I could think about was the pleasure I may experience and it made me want that feeling even more. 
• I had a vision of myself a hundred pounds lighter and able to have sex with anybody I want anytime I choose. 
• I was successful five times in having a hookup during the month of March and April.  During this time I had encounters with two females and three different men. 
• One of the men I met up with on three different occasions.