Last night I got about six hours of sleep and that's been about what I've been sleeping on average a night. Today I didn't feel bad but again was hypomanic and hypersexual. I had this need to get things done yesterday. I washed clothes, cleaned the kitchen, garaged, and rearranged the living room. I'm not all that disappointed that I was like this because I was productive and that felt good. However, I began to notice that I was hypersexual and began cruising the internet looking for sex. It then hit me that all the cleaning I was doing was what I used to do when I was preparing to have someone over and that's what my goal tonight.
Right now I'm upset with myself and angry that I found nobody at the same time. I could take somebodies head off I'm so angry right now. This past week I started taking more Lithium and I know I've only been on it a week but this hypersexual behavior has to stop. It's dangerous to have sex with total strangers and it's something that happens when I'm manic and hypomanic. I can't control it and it scares me. I see my therapist this coming Wednesday and we have some things to talk about. I need a solution or I'm going to go nuts. You would think with the amount of medication I take I wouldn't be having as many problems.
I’m a 46 year old man who’s been dealing with Bipolar my entire life. It wasn’t until 2013 that I was diagnosed and this blog is my story. As you’ll see there’s been many lapses in my posting but I’m going to try and get back with it. I’ve had a lot of trouble during my lapses but I continue to remain optimistic about my bipolar hence the title Optimistic Bipolar.
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