"How My Bipolar Disorder Is Doing"

I haven't written a whole lot about how my Bipolar Disorder lately and thought it's about time for an update.  The last six weeks or so I've been more hypomanic than at any other time this year.  I've been more aggressive with other people and always ready to start a fight.  Anxiety has been a really tough issue for me and can happen because of a number of things including being around lots of people, driving, watching television, or being startled.  The possibilities with my anxiety are endless and don't follow a set pattern at all.  About the last six weeks I've also been very hypersexual and looking at lots of pornography.  I don't presently have my own car which is a good thing because if I did I would be out soliciting sex from both males and females.  Just being able to type that here makes me feel good because when I was first diagnosed with Bipolar I really couldn't come to grips with any of it.  I buried myself inside the shame of all the bad things I had done and let them consume me.  I've also been experiencing a number of other symptoms such as reduced need for sleep, rapid speech, racing thoughts, and deep depression.

To say the least, the last six weeks have been rough is an understatement.  I haven't had any changes in my medications and my psychiatrist  doesn't want to change any doses just yet because of other medications I'm taking.  To cope with this hypomanic behavior I've been doing a number of things.  I listen to guided meditations every night before I go to bed which help to relax my mind and give me a fresh start.  I also find that writing helps me to relax and put things in perspective.  This isn't an all inclusive list of how I handle my Bipolar simply because every time it invades my head it's different.  I can usually feel that something isn't right but I don't always have the same symptoms.  As of right now I'm trying really hard to do what I need to do and praying that this episode will pass.