Day 203 "A lot Going On This Week"

I'm trying really hard to get myself back in the habit of writing everyday.  It did me a lot of good and helped me get through each day.  It helped me to be more consistent with tracking my bipolar symptoms and eating better.  However, I'm slowly getting back in the habit and plan on being on a daily posting schedule by New Years Day.  I also am looking to add a little more photography in the blog to make it more interesting plus that would give me a reason to start using my camera again which is something I used to do all the time.

Today has been an average day for me.  I've been staying up and watching a lot of the Christmas movies that are on all night and have messed up my sleep schedule.  The Christmas movies are all generally the same but the give me a sense of comfort that I lack this time of year.  In any event, I got up late today and sat around.  I wasn't angry but was a little depressed.  I'm trying to remain optimistic that everything is going to get better but its hard for me.  I've isolated myself from a lot of people and don't have a huge support system.  My car is also still broke and the only transportation I have is my Mom's car and she's funny about it leaving the house.  Also, since I've been on medications for the bipolar my urge to drive has decreased dramatically.  It all just upsets me and I'm praying and hoping that 2014 is a better year for myself which I hope doesn't sound selfish.

This week my ability to cope is going to be tested a lot.  Tomorrow I have to drive my Mom to her physical therapy then drive across tow to pick up my nephew from school and then drop him off with my Mom and take my Uncle across town to his doctor's appointment.  It doesn't sound like much but the way its all spaced out I will be running from breakfast to dinner.  On Tuesday I have to be up at 5 in the morning so that I can be at my Uncle's house on the other side of town by 7:30 to get him to his new round of chemotherapy that is supposed to take three to four hours.  Usually there's an hour wait once we get to the hospital because there's so many people waiting on chemotherapy and they only have so much room.  After his chemotherapy I have to drive him back home then pick up me nephew from school which consists of sitting in a parent pick up line for almost an hour before he's dismissed.  I then have a therapy session the following day along with my Mom's physical therapy, and picking up my nephew from school.  Then the rest of the week it's just helping my Mom babysit my sister's kids.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining I just feel very bogged down.  I want to help everybody but it stresses me out a lot and gives me a lot of anxiety.  I was looking at my hair tonight and it used to be dark brown.  In the last year I've lost a lot of my color and am going gray fast.  I'm going to try and cope with this week as best as I can hopefully all will go well.