Day 290 "Why I Am The Way I Am?"

Today my mood hasn't been rotten and I've been just on the low side. I haven't been mean or exploded at anyone as well. I've just wanted to be quiet all day and not do anything. Part of that has to do with the fact that after a spring like day yesterday winter made a comeback today. The cold just sends me over the edge and makes me feel even more depressed than I am. I can't wait till summer when I can sit outside early in the morning and late at night and enjoy the fresh air. I wonder why I am the way I am and why I've turned out the way I have. I think about it all the time and can't come up with an answer. I want so much to be normal like everyone else but it's like something went wrong somewhere. At the rate I'm going I'll never be able to support myself and it's the worst feeling a middle aged man can have. I just keep thinking that there's something out there for me and that I I'll someday find it so that I can finally get a taste of the American dream.