I’m a 46 year old man who’s been dealing with Bipolar my entire life. It wasn’t until 2013 that I was diagnosed and this blog is my story. As you’ll see there’s been many lapses in my posting but I’m going to try and get back with it. I’ve had a lot of trouble during my lapses but I continue to remain optimistic about my bipolar hence the title Optimistic Bipolar.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Day 288 "I Don't Know What To Do"
Today my mood has been pretty average. I haven't been too low or too high. However, I've been mildly depressed not knowing what's going to happen with my future. I've been wondering far in to my future. I mostly wonder how I'm going to be able to get a job or make SSDI work at my age to be able to have enough money when it comes time to retire. I just don't see how it's possible without some sort of windfall that I don't see happening. In terms of a job I don't ever see myself being able to ever secure anything making more than minimum wage. I have this dream that I'm able to drop all the extra weight I'm carrying and that I'll look good enough that somebody will want to hire me. Well, enough with the dreams and more prayers might just be what this optimistic bipolar needs.
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