Day 113 "Seroquel Replaced With Abilify"

Today I got my wish and was taken off Seroquel but was put on Abilify.  I was told there is less sedation and that it should help my depression which is really bad right now.  I was also told that if I didn't like it we would try something else.  My nurse practitioner seems to listen when I talk and that makes me feel better about the medications I'm taking.

My depression has been off the charts today.  I have been crying on and off all day and I've been arguing back and forth with my Mom.  She has  always had a hard time with my diagnosis of bipolar disorder.  She thinks that I'm going to get stable and just be able to hold a full time job.  She told me that there's thousands of people that do it everyday so I should be able to do it.  I agree that there's a lot of people that work with their disorder but there's a lot that can't work.  I don't know how it's going to be for me yet as I have a long ways to go before I'm stable.  I just wish my Mom would trust my judgement about my bipolar treatment.

Then there's the diabetes that has me nuts.  My doctor said that I'm type 1.5 which I know nothing about and he didn't bother to explain it to me.  I just know that he scheduled me for an A1C test i a little over a month and a he just put me on medication for the diabetes.  Shouldn't he have scheduled the A1C test for late November or December.  I just don't understand  any of it but I can tell you that I don't want to be on insulin.  The thought of it gives me so much anxiety.  I just hope that my disability claim will be approved  so that I can get medical insurance which takes about 24 months.

Well, I'm going to go to bed because maybe my anxiety will go away for the night.  All I've been doing all evening is stressing about everything and trying to find a simple diabetic diet that is easy to follow.  You would think they would be easy to find but that's not the case.  I have been able to find diabetic recipes but that's a bout it.